Well honestly speaking, I got married just a week back and my first honeymoon is still due! The urge to be together is said to climax this period and I wouldn’t need to turn leaves to agree to it. Yes, the idea of being ‘just married’ is an inexplicable feeling. The house is fragrant with new gifts and stale flowers. I personally love the smell of new gifts and new books… it’s got that typical aroma … mmmm lovely! Oh and I love the goldfish in a bowl (gift) that just keeps going round and round (wonder why?). The skin never felt so good, gosh all those hours of facials and steam finally made an impact! And then catching her glance at you while you are getting ready for office …. hmmm extra special!
Now let’s surge ahead of the mush meadows a bit. Fifteen years have gone by. Both approaching their 40’s and in fact have crossed it. The son’s in his teens and you don’t need to see to his education any more (he goes for tuition!) Life is comfortable, but the Honda doesn’t seem to bring in the same excitement as did the first Maruti. The leather couches are comfortable, but those skewed wooden chairs have fonder memories etched on them. The comp ceases to have wires but life seems to have got entangled in a mesh of its own.
To get our lives on track, to shoulder responsibility, we need to follow – ‘A Routine’. It is this same routine that corrodes the passion from within and leaves the relationship in placid waters. No I am not suggesting that a Second Honeymoon is going to work some magic immediately and get the adrenalin pumping. No it will not do that, in fact you don’t need it to be that way, trust me. What you need is to rediscover each other.
Ever since you had a kid, there was hardly time to glance at each other. The kid’s admission, buying a flat, getting the loan approved, changing jobs, everything takes a toll. Yes, I am sure you have gone for a picnic or two. Maybe movies or the occasional party. But when was the last time you two have been with each other, because you wanted to? Time has eaten out the fondness and left both of you as mere acquaintances. Acquaintances, who are aware of each other’s habits, tastes and preferences.
Time keeps molding everyone all the time. And before long, we are a different person. 10 years or even 15 is really a long time. It’s that time when you need to create the urge to know your better half all over again. It’s that time when you need to let yourself slacken a bit from ‘schedules’ and get charmed. The second honeymoon gives an opportunity to reflect the past and pave way for the future. It teaches you to be appreciative of the smaller joys of life. A chance to blow away the gathering dust and acknowledge the brilliant companionship you guys have shared…a breather, and you sigh and feel the need to unite with a person who you are beginning to understand all over again. A little celebration for the unspoken chemistry that made two ordinary people an extraordinary couple …. who withstood the test of time to emerge as winners.
Imagine watching a movie without an interval. Testing perfumes without coffee beans, a large vanilla cup with no toppings, or (as a marketer would put it!) releasing a product in the market with zero competitor differentiation! When sameness becomes a part of life, it becomes necessary to stop and take a break. It’s not imperative to go on a rediscovery spree, it’s a call you need to take personally. Sometimes looking at our routines lives, I have stopped wondering how a gold fish can spend its entire life looking out of the glass bowl.